"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him and he will make your path straight."
-Proverbs 3:5-6
"For I know the plans I have for you", says the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not
to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."
-Jeremiah 29:11
"Humans plan their life in their heart,
but the Lord establishes their steps."
--Proverbs 16:9
These are verses I have often held close to my heart.
They've given me hope that whatever course I end up on is God's.
They've helped me trust that God has got my back.
But lately, I've seen how God has truly done what they say he does and will do.
Let's rewind to last summer and I'll tell you how.
I embarked on a journey with a corporation who proudly shares the word of God. We shared it with adults and children all summer and it truly was one of the greatest times in my life. I learned so much about the character of God and grew in to a deeper relationship with him.
He grew me so much over that time and I came back wanting nothing more than to experience it again. I was at a point where I had no idea what God wanted me to do with my life. In the last few years, I see how God only gives me about a three month window, if that. He shows me just enough of what the future looks like, and then smiles and tells me to trust him. I, of course, want to know more, but he doesn't ever tell me.
So, I came back and just looked to him and said, "What do you want, God?"
He didn't say a word.
I sat by for weeks, then months, just waiting for him to tell me.
Then, a few months later, I got a call I had hoped for. I was offered another summer doing something I had fallen in love with. It was a slightly different position, but still what I wanted (or so I thought). In the moment I had hesitation and it scared me. I asked for time to pray and see what God wanted. They gave me through the weekend to decide.
The weekend came and went. I prayed a little but felt no peace in any decision. So, I accepted it. I knew that I ultimately wanted that experience again. I thought to myself, "Now I can have peace."
But yet again, no peace.
I waited. I hoped. Some time went by.
Then He moved.
When I accepted the position, I had already arranged to be gone for the summer with my job.
One day when I went into work a few months later, my boss told me that due to some changes and my job title changing, that she could not allow me to be gone all summer without hiring someone for my position. So I had to choose.
I was hit like a bus with confusion, emotion and uncertainty. After many long talks and tearful conversations with God, I knew I couldn't let my job go. I love my job. It was a blessing from God in the first place...
So I chose. I chose my job.
The conversations after were hard and hurtful, but as you're reading this, you're probably wondering, "what's the point?"
Even in the midst of uncertainty, God is there.
When you don't know if what decision you're making is right, God is there.
If you're worried about making the wrong choice, God is there.
If you're scared of what people are going to think, God is there.
People will say and think what they want. I will worry myself over things I have no control over. I will wonder if I am making the right decision. And I will sometimes be uncertain of myself, my choices and my life.
But God's there. And that's all that matters. And because he's there, I can trust that HE will lead me on a path that He wants me on. All I have to do is trust and believe that...because He's doing it right now.
