Hasta Luego.

I woke up feeling like I just wanted to go back to sleep. Not because I wasn't rested, but because I didn't want to face what today held. My brother, Barton, got to the house, came into my room and made me get up. So we all got up and headed to breakfast. My parents drove separate so I sat in the backseat and my brothers drove us. I had the sudden urge to write him, which I couldn't believe I hadn't done so yet, but I scrambled for some scrap paper. I had just enough in my purse so I got to writing. I wrote out Psalm 91 and some personal thoughts, and away in to my pocket it went as we arrived to Cracker Barrel.

It was awkward sitting as a family of five having breakfast. I was incredibly over hearing my Dad talk about "how it's going to be" and seeing my Mom cry after every word Matt spoke. I started to eat and wondered why I wasn't overcome with emotion like that. I could have cried at the drop of the hat, but nothing was uncontrollable. It felt like it was just me being with my brothers, and my parents tagging along.

We finished up our meal, and to my surprise, both of my parents had things to do and ended up leaving. Barton had to go, too, so that left me and Matt. All along I wanted to be the one who took Matt, but never expected it to work out that way. We made a stop at his best friend's house, and then made our way to the Army office. As I parked I could feel the tears well up in my eyes, but I choked them back. Matt grabbed his stuff and told me he was excited. We talked some, and he said that he knows why I wasn't so upset. He began to explain that he realized that this is more of a "see you later" than a "goodbye" for us three. He said that we, as siblings, are so close that it's not really a sad time. Of course we'll miss him, but we'll keep in contact and share what's going on, and pick up right where we are together again. I think those words from him were comfort from the Lord. We hugged, and as he got of the car I handed him the crinkled note from my pocket. He smiled and said, "Great minds think alike."

As I watched him walk in that door, tears streamed down my face and I drove away. I cried the whole way home. When I parked I remembered the note he had handed me. I quickly pulled it out and opened as I read...

Abbey,

First I love you! You're an amazing sister and an amazing person.

It's funny, everyone asks me why I'm so different from other guys and I always answer "my sister." 

You've influenced me more than you'll ever know and thank you for never losing faith in me.

Thanks to you I'm closer to God, family and finally doing something meaningful.

I love you sis and I know you're gonna do amazing things!

And be a terrific mother and wife! 

I'm going to miss you and Bart so much but I'll be back before you know it.

Always praying for you Abbs!

Love always, 

Matt

Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. -1 Peter 5:7

It warmed my heart to read those words. And happy that he wrote out that scripture...he knows I worry like crazy. I felt God just take a lot of worry and cares away in that moment. This whole situation is one God is using for so many things, but I know he's using this for something in mine especially. I'm already seeing some truth and wisdom and am excited to see what else God says.

It's not goodbye; it's see you later.