Learning Love

I wish I could sit here and rant on 

about what I've learned in the last few years concerning

love.

It's crazy to look back and see what I've gone through,

but more so what the Lord has gotten me through.

But through it all...

I've learned about choices.

With choices, there are always consequences, 

good or bad.

With every decision things can change on a whim or slowly over time.

You can change everything in the matter of seconds or a few words or actions.

You really have to be careful and aware of all choices.

I've learned what it means to care.

You spend time with someone because you want to.

You invest in a relationship because it's worthy of you and your time. 

You care because you want to and you understand what it means

so you don't abuse it or waste your time.

I've learned what it means to feel.

We feel joy, happiness, wonder and pain.

You feel all kinds of emotions when you love

and what you learn from those can teach us a lot.

They can lead us down a great road 

or down a treacherous path.

I've learned about truth.

Truth about who I am, the woman I am 

and how much honesty means to a relationship and to ourself.

Truth can set us free from our fears 

or chain us in great darkness.

I've learned that it's okay to be me.

Not all may care about me and want to spend time with me,

but one day there will be someone.

Someone whose choices affect me in the best way,

cares about my heart and soul,

wants me to feel joy and happiness everyday,

and is purely honest about everything.

And he'll love me for me.

What's it Worth?

If you knew me a few years ago I  looked like a different person. If you had met me then I would have looked, acted, spoke and thought differently. I was a nice person, but I was not the same. I found my value in things of this world and all that mattered was worth nothing. I was in a horrible relationship that was situationally comfortable and something that gave me worth and meaning, and everything any woman could ever dream of was at my fingertips. Exotic vacations, expensive clothing and accessories, a high-priced vehicle, living expenses and so much more became a custom to me. In most people's eyes,  I "had it all."

But what I was missing was Christ. I was finding my worth in a person, in possessions and status. I had everything, yet nothing all at the same time. A terrifying and eye-opening moment opened my eyes to God, and it was like he was sitting there next to me, asking me when I was going to let go of all this worthless stuff and let him have my heart. Praise you, God, for rescuing me from that pit of despair.

That was almost three years ago,  and I can remember it like yesterday. There's a lot from that time in my life I can recall and I think the Lord allows that so I can remember where I was and how he saved me. It's there to help other girls and women, and it reminds me of how truly good our God is.

This morning I was reminded of all of this and was compelled to write. I met up with a friend at a nearby coffee shop. I had recently posted on our church's women's site about an interesting fundraiser I am in the process of and she was willing to contribute to the cause:

    

I am selling all of my old, expensive possessions. All these name brand, high-retail items mean a lot to some people and that's okay to an extent, but to me they mean nothing. They remind me of bondage, pain and searching for a God I now have...so, I am selling every single item. What's even better is that every dollar is going toward funding a new ministry project I am working on that God is fully leading. And I couldn't be more excited about it and what God's doing in and with it. 

My sisters, He can use ANYTHING for good.

He is good, and faithful, and worthy of ALL praise and worship.

So I am graciously letting go of all these things, but sharing the story as they go.

Grab on to him, my sisters. He's always there, and is happy to see you.

"In my distress I called upon the Lord; to my God I cried for help. 

From his temple he heard my voice,

and my cry to him reached his ears.

He brought me out into a broad place;

he rescued me, because he delighted in me."

-Psalm 18:6, 19

Love Endures

To the woman getting up with a child...

To the woman digging in to the Word...

To the woman growing old with her husband...

To the woman who is overwhelmed...

To the woman crying over heart break...

To the woman searching for comfort...

To the woman worrying about her career...

To the woman wearing makeup for the first time...

To the woman caring for a family...

To the woman looking for love...

To the woman who never stops moving...

To the woman who feels alone...

To the woman sitting with Jesus...

To the woman who feels like she's on top of the world...

To the woman who's striving,

creating,

hoping,

enduring,

understanding,

hurting...

Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good. His love endures forever. Give thanks to the God of gods. His love endures forever. Give thanks to the Lord of lords: His love endures forever. To him who alone does great wonders, His love endures forever. Who by his understanding made the heavens, His love endures forever. Who spread out the earth upon the waters, His love endures forever. Who made the great lights - His love endures forever. The sun to govern the day, His love endures forever. The moon and stars to govern the night; His love endures forever. To him who struck down the firstborn of Egypt, His love endures forever. And brought Israel out from among them, His love endures forever. With a mighty hand and outstretched arm; His love endures forever. To him who divided the Red Sea asunder, His love endures forever…To him who led his people through the desert, His love endures forever…To the One who remembered us in our low estate, His love endures forever. And freed us from our enemies, His love endures forever. And who gives food to every creature. His love endures forever. Give thanks to the God of heaven. His love endures forever. 

-Psalm 136

His plan.

So many of us know Jeremiah 29:11...

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord.

"They are plans for good and not for disaster, 

to give you a future and a hope."

But all too often we quote it and share it with friends without really thinking about what it means.

A friend of mine recently moved from Nashville to a suburb outside of Chicago. Although she was excited about her husband being promoted, she didn't want to leave her life here behind, especially her home. In her storybook life, she had found a dream home after a once in a lifetime wedding and honeymoon. But as they left, she saw her everything here in Tennessee, not in Illinois.

Her home and things of this life had become what she trusted in and her security. More so, it had become her identity. She felt like it was where she belonged, but in the midst of the pain and state she was in, God showed her some amazing things that she shared with me earlier this week. "Security doesn't come from possessions or a dream home or a nice car...I am secure in the Lord and when I trust in Him." Her words hit home as we talked about the adventure God has placed her in. She spoke of her comfort zones and how God has shed light into mistrust and lack of faith and how she is learning to depend on Him to meet her needs. Through laughs, tears and deep girl talk I learned more of a dear friend and saw how she is embracing what God has planned for her, even though she has no idea what's going to happen.

Why can't I be like that?

As I thought about it more God has grown my thoughts and understanding. His plan is one way He expresses love to us. God's plan, exposed or not, is an expression of His perfect love because His plan is perfect. He always knows what's best. He takes everything, good and bad, and uses it for purpose in our life. What's hard is when He is at work in our life and risks are at stake. It's hard because a lot of the time we have to live by faith. We have to trust completely in Him and not a home, a career, a mate, nor ourselves, and depend on Him fully. 

His plan is sovereign and almighty and perfect. It's something we can hope for and hope in. It's is the perfect plan for us. He wants us to trust in Him and have faith in Him. Although difficult and sometimes hard to do, especially when He is silent, He hasn't left us.

He's sovereign.

He's satisfying.

He's fulfilling.

He's grace.

He's enough.

02.14

I have never been a girl who loves Valentine's Day. It's always been a let-down or nothing different from any normal day. I have had a boyfriend on a few of them and my parents have always enjoyed celebrating the holiday...but as for me, I would happily do without it.

Today, I was working and in the middle of my long (but good) day, I looked up at the door and saw this:

I was in a moment of awe and comfort. I eased my mind into a place where I immediately was reminded of the love that is raining down on me from the Father above. He loves me so much and as unworthy as I may be, no one will ever love me like he does. His love for me is perfect and on a day where people celebrate love, I am thankful and celebrating my God whose love is the best there ever was, is and could be.

"Love is patient. Love is kind.

Love is not jealous, boastful, proud or rude.

Love does not demand its own way.

It is not irritable and keeps no record of being wronged.

It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices in the truth.

Love never gives up,

never loses faith, 

is always hopeful,

and endures through every circumstance.

Love never fails."

-1 Corinthians 13:4-8