Passion: Here for You

Since I can remember music has been like writing for me: an outlet. Music is that for most people, but for me it helps when I am happy, sad, excited, hurt, etc. Once I write I turn on something to help whatever mood I may be in and just relax from there. Writing is to cake as music is to icing....get it?

Well, it's rare for me to really talk or write about music, but today I got this album and I HAVE to share it with you:

Passion: Here for You. It is a worship album from the conference I attended back in January and it's absolutely amazing. What's awesome about the Passion music is that it's written and recorded weeks before the actual conference, then released at a later date. Each conference has it's own individual worship and the Passion albums never disappoint. If you want some awesome music that gives all the glory to our God you should definitely give it a try. I've been listening to it all day!

Waiting [3].

A friend of mine, Laura Rowe, writes a blog that is nothing short of amazing. She writes of her family, life, wonderful recipes and the most adorable do-it-yourself projects. I was going through blogs this morning after getting a load of work finished and hers spoke to my heart and the season of life I am currently in. I had to share because as she said, we are all waiting...

"Perseverance is more than endurance. It is endurance combined with absolute assurance and certainty that what we are looking for is going to happen. Perseverance means more than just hanging on, which may be only exposing our fear of letting go and falling. Perseverance is our supreme effort of refusing to believe that our hero is going to be conquered. Our greatest fear is not that we will be damned, but that somehow Jesus Christ will be defeated. Also, our fear is that the very things our Lord stood for-- love, justice, forgiveness, and kindness among men-- will not win out in the end and will represent an unattainable goal for us. Then there is the call to spiritual perseverance. A call not to hang on and do nothing, but to work deliberately, knowing with certainty that God will never be defeated.

If our hopes seem to be experiencing disappointment right now, it simply means that they are being purified. Every hope or dream of the human mind will be fulfilled if it is noble and of God. But one of the greatest stresses in life is the stress of WAITING for God. He brings fulfillment, "because you have kept My command to persevere..." (Rev. 3:10). 

Continue to persevere spiritually." 

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, February 22nd

Waiting [2].

"Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken."

 -Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Memories.

Today I was at work and got a hectic phone call from my aunt. "Help...help...help!" I replied, "what is the matter?", thinking something was actually wrong. "I just got my iPhone and I need help working this thing." With a sigh of relief I laughed and told her I'd be over after work to help.

Soon after that phone call I got to her house to be greeted by my cousins, Garret and Grace. They were playing and watching television, but put them on hold to hug and kiss "Abb." I then spent the next hour and a half or so setting up my aunt's phone. Who would have thought I'd be doing that?!

Once her Gmail was working and all iCal calendars were synced, we settled down to have dinner. I sat and talked with my uncle and cousins, and helped Garrett with some homework. I said good night to Grace and helped her get her pajamas on and cuddled into a perfectly pink room. I went to say good night to Jackson and instead I got a quick hug and kiss and was hurried into iPhone, iPod, Apple conversation and what I thought about him saving to get a new one. Once we discussed his awesome plan I went to say good night to Garrett. He asked about an app on my phone and we began testing it. I turned around, looking for something unique for him to photograph, and found this:

Meet Sergio. He has been in my family since before I came into the world. He belonged to my grandparents and was given to Garrett once they passed away. He sat in the corner and took up the entire rocking chair. I saw him and was instantly flooded with memory...Memory of being a small child and cuddling up to Sergio. I was reminded of his soft arms and how they used to wrap all they way around me. I remembered feeling so small when I saw him, but after twenty three years, that feeling is no longer tangible.

In that moment I was thankful. I was thankful for wonderful memories of my childhood and my grandparents. I was thankful for remembering what it feels like to be a kid. I was thankful that Sergio is still the comfort and joy of the five year old me.

Garrett and I sat down on his bed as he flipped through edits on Sergio. It's moments like that I pray he'll remember and that I will never forget.

What a weekend.

I have not had a weekend like this past one in such a long time. I absolutely loved it. I needed a break from the real world for a little while. I got to just enjoy myself and have fun with people I love dearly.

Friday was a day I was looking forward to for the entire last week. One of my best friends, Amber, got engaged and her now fiance surprised her with having all of their best friends and family at dinner to share in their celebration. They arrived and she was expecting to have a nice, quiet, romantic dinner but was shocked to see twelve of their closest friends ready to celebrate their exciting news!

It was great to get to share in their special night and enjoy it with good friends. We definitely had a good time and it made me excited for their wedding!

Amber has been my SIL since the day we met. Being a friend of almost six years, we have grown to be as close as friends get. We don't always get to spend as much time together as we would like but every time we are together it's like time stood still. She is one of the greatest people I know and I am blessed and thankful to call her a friend. I am so happy for her and happy she found a wonderful man. 

Little bro & life change.

I bet I have started 5 or 6 posts within the past week. My life has been a whirlwind of madness. With work, family and friends I haven't been able to get close to getting my emotions or thoughts straight. My journal has been consumed with it all but getting it all ready for open viewing is another story....but I think so of it is ready.

Almost two weeks ago my brother, Matt, came to me and said we needed to talk. I knew it had to be a big deal because anytime we have a serious conversation they usually begin that way. We sat down and he began telling me about his decision to go into the Army. My heart immediately sank but I quickly jumped into a moment of prayer. I listened to what he had to say along with his reasons and hopes, and God took over my worry and emotions. We talked through some things and I told him how I felt, but that ultimately I would support him and love him with whatever he decided.

This morning he left for a two day type of training to prepare him for basic training. I got up to get ready for work this morning and I had the biggest lump in my throat. Over the last year I have become a mother to my younger brothers and as I woke up I felt like I was losing something and this huge sense of worry and anxiety came over me. I closed my eyes, prayed and got a pen and paper out to do what I do best: write. I sat down and wrote Matt a letter. I told him how I felt, that I loved him and that no matter what I would always support him. I told him that I am constantly praying for God's will to be played out for his life and I am comforted knowing that God is in control of it and I don't have to worry. I left it for him and didn't hear from him until I called him to make sure he was up in time. A few minutes later he texted me and thanked me for everything and that he loved me more than I would ever know. I felt God's presence surround me and I didn't have to worry about him.

Earlier I received a phone call form him and he told me about his day. He told me of people he had met, paperwork he filled out and the intense day ahead of him. It was nice to talk to him and comfort him as he begins this journey.

Tomorrow my little brother of 21 years is being sworn in for the United States Army...whoa. Luckily my God is in control.

Wednesday night.

Wednesday is probably like any other day for most people, but for me it's one of my favorites. I work from 8:30 a.m. to close to 8 p.m. and I absolutely adore every minute. Most would look at that time frame and freak but it's not what it seems. From putting signs up, to organizing curriculum and so on, Wednesday is spent preparing for GROW FX:Family Experience and GROW Discipleship classes. I know that it's a long time and a good deal of work but giving of myself to give children a chance to know and hear the word of God is something I cherish deeply and am very thankful for.

Today seemed like an especially long day but in a good way. There was a good feeling of team unity and a day full of laughs is certainly enjoyable. I walked out the door with my favorite people, still laughing, and headed home expecting to jump into bed...but instead, I find myself in the middle of this:

To my right is Matthew Brent. As the oldest of my two younger brothers, he has recently become a follower of Christ and gotten a tattoo like his sister. We have always been close but recently our relationship has become much stronger. I am thankful that God continued to pursue him and bring him to where he is now. We are able to now have conversations of Christ, God and His Word. It's something I cherish to the depth of my being.

We were watching the history channel together and reminiscing of our grandfather who gave us the love for history. He was filling out paperwork for basic training. As much as that scares me I am okay because I know God will protect him and I know that Matt desires to really do something. I just pray that whatever happens be the will of God for Matt's life. He is a strong and brave young man who will do amazing things for God's kingdom and I am proud to call him my brother.

To the left is Barton. The sensitive, meek young man who has a heart for Christ. He came home from services at New Vision and was much later than myself because of staying later to talk to the youth pastor...what more can I ask for? Most teenagers his age are after anything but the heart and will of God but he is and I couldn't want anything more for him. He doesn't know what God has for him and neither do I but I know he, too, will do amazing things for the sake of Christ. He is a strong, tender soul that is driven with love.

I am so thankful for these two men. I am thankful that I am able to come home from a long, amazing day and share life with my brothers. We are all three on very different paths but we are all united in love for one another and love in Christ. From talks of family, to Christ, to serving and beyond, we share a special bond that means so much to me.  I can remember being younger and asking myself if it would ever be possible to love two younger brothers: yes, dear Abbey of younger years. You love them. You adore them...and forever will.