Good Enough for Me

I am currently 24 years, 7 months and 27 days old.

Five years ago, I wrote in my journal that by now I'd have

graduated college,

married the love of my life,

and either have or getting ready to have my first child.

Well Abbey of 19 years, I am so sorry to disappoint.

What's funny is I hear this ALL the time.

According to a lot of people, I "should" be

married, 

with a career,

and have children.

Oh, and a white-picket fence.

Let me just throw out some thought on this...

First, there is nothing wrong with where I am at in life.

I love where I am, what I'm doing and I am open to anything that happens.

I know the Lord has me in the season to teach me something 

and my heart is completely open to what He has. 

Second, when it comes to school, I will eventually finish.

School has never been a priority for me. 

My goals in life were never to go to college. I went because it was the "thing to do."

I will eventually finish, but it's not what I desire for my life.

Next, as far as a man goes, that is completely up to the Lord.

I have always desired to have a truly good man in my life.

I've been blessed to date some great guys, and been saved from some awful ones.

If I ever find a man it's because it's what God wants and it's in his timing.

And last, there's children.

The only thing I've ever wanted in life is to be a mother.

God has graciously shown me ways of motherhood that aren't means of giving birth.

There are hundreds of children in this town that I get to love on and minister to

and that's been a bigger blessing than I could have ever asked for.

And beyond this, if the Lord doesn't choose to bless me with my own children,

I know there's always the option to adopt one of his to call my own and that in itself is wonderful.

All in all, this was venting, but more than that it's truth.

In the broad scheme of life, I (nor you) am not defined by job, husband, family, kids, etc.

I am defined in the eyes of the Father.

And that's good enough for me.

Parentzilla!

A dear friend of mine has started a company that I must share with you all. It's called Parentzilla and if that doesn't get you interested enough,

Parentzilla is a company that helps parents tame the teenage years. They create training resources, conduct online seminars, and create community among parents of teenagers. In short parents of teenagers have a new partner, PARENTZILLA!

Check out their website, on Facebook, Twitter and YouTube

http://www.parentzilla.com/

Great message, awesome resources and hope for parents!

Girls & the Gospel

If you follow my blog at all, you've heard me talk about my small group girls.

I write about them often and am thankful for what they've brought to my life.

For the last few years they've brought me so much joy.

We've talked and learned about God and his word, and shared life as we've grown as a group. 

If they have shared anything with me it's been very surface level.

Friends, family and maybe some boy-talk but nothing more...

...until tonight.

I had dinner at church like I do every week. 

Once it's over I head over to where we have our services 

and hang out with my girls.

I was standing there talking when one of my girls came up to me.

She looked upset and I asked her what was up, and she replied with, "Ms. Abbey, I need to talk."

She began to tell me about how she was sad because her ex-boyfriend wasn't talking to her and it made her sad. I was blown away by her emotion, and began to remind of her of why I encourage them not to date and that his reasons for breaking up were good reasons. I told her that they both needed to talk, apologize for being rude to one another and agree to be friends. We hugged and she went off to talk to him.

 I watched them interact, saw them agree to be friends and a huge smile came across my face as she ran back to me and said they were friends.

Thank you, Father, for the wisdom you give me to pour into her.

As I sat glowing in her happiness, I got a text from another one of my girls that tore my heart to pieces.

"Ms. Abbey, I need advice. I'm being bullied at school."

This broke my heart.

We began to talk about how she's bullied, who the girls were, and what to do about it.

After about two hours of texts, she said she felt better and I reminded her of God's truth and what he says about us. She thanked me and told me she would call me tomorrow.

As I drove home, tears streamed down my face.

I love these girls like they are my own and it breaks my being that they have pain in their lives.

I can remember being in the 5th-6th grade and dealing with the same issues, 

but it's so different in today's time. 

We talk about boys, bullies, and other huge topics, but now they are coming to me, sharing their issues and trusting in me for truth and guidance. As heart breaking as it is, I am thanking the Lord for the opportunity to talk to them and pour truth into them. I can tell them what God says about who they are and what they should do according to his word. How amazing is that!

I can sit here and be boastful in myself for doing well, 

but what I must do is give all the glory and thanks to God. 

He is using me to bless and help others and it is incredible.

What the girls don't understand is that they are blessing me more than they could ever imagine.

Thank you, Lord, for you....are....good.

How to Love

I was in the Word this morning and reading over 1 Corinthians 13. Also known as the love chapter. It's the one we all know by heart and can quote at a moment's notice. What I don't like about it is we forget what it's really saying and how we can apply it to our life. I was writing in my journal as I read, and as I read I wrote my thoughts on the first few verses. It really hit home to my heart, so I posted what I wrote to Facebook.

Here's what I wrote in my journal:

I started to read it outside of the normal context. 

Take the word 'love' out and read it.

We are called to be every bit of that, while loving people.

It's not enough just to love people. We called to be every bit of what 1 Corinthians says about love.

It's so hard just to love someone, but to love them while enduring their hurting us?
To love while being patient?
To love continuously?

Only through the Lord are we able to do this.

I pray you read this and it hits home to your heart like it did mine.
I'm definitely looking at how I love a much different way.

January Weekend

I like cold weather, but this winter is nothing like normal and I'm not complaining.

Wearing t shirts and ballet flats on a January weekend is fine by me.

This one has been especially good

and was a great way to spend some free time.

My sister, Hannah, is in town for a few days 

so I made my way up to my aunt's to spend the evening with one sweet little girl.

Marigrace and I started to catch up and get acquainted since our last visit.

We sat and chatted over how to say "Abb."

and she saved her first real laugh for me.

(Sorry, Chris.)

What a perfect way to end the week.

Resolutions

First off, I make new year goals.

Not resolutions.

If I tell myself I am going to work out every day of the year,

by January 31st I will sitting on the couch indulging in being lazy.

Instead of making resolutions I have made some goals to attempt this coming year,

and I'd thought I'd share them with you.

1. Project 365

I attempted this in 2009 and it lasted a few months. I really want to do this just to tell a story. I'm taking a picture everyday and it's a picture of meaning. I'm excited to see what comes from it. The iPhone will get some good use this year.

2. Take a trip with my brothers.

We've talked about it forever, but now that my baby brother is out of high school we can actually travel together-just us. We've talked about taking one over the holidays, but we'll see. No matter where or when it will be awesome. 

3. Open up to my friends.

I've said before that this blog is my outlet. What I've come to see is that I withhold so much from people dear to me. I can sit and listen to my close friends and family and talk for hours, but I don't share hardly any of my life to them. I've hurt some people and I want to try my best to share my life because I love and care for those around me, and entrust in them like they do me. They're there to help and love me and I need to do that. 

These, significant or not, are a huge prayer for me.

We'll see if they can happen

and see if I add anything else.

Two-thousand & Twelve.

It's here.

I am so excited for a new year.

I'm ready for new adventures, new memories 

and new life.

To be honest, a new beginning is just what I've needed lately. I've been in one of those funks that most people get in sometimes. I've found myself stuck in this mode of comparing myself to other women and their blessings. I've felt completely neglected and forgotten by God. I can look at a woman and find something she has that I don't that makes me lesser of a person. I know I'm not the only person who has ever felt this way, but lately it has just eaten away at my spirit. I've let it take over my being. But I read this today and I knew the Lord was speaking right to me.
³⁹At that time Mary got ready and hurried to a town in the hill country of Judea, ⁴⁰where she entered Zechariah’s home and greeted Elizabeth. ⁴¹When Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the baby leaped in her womb, and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit. ⁴²In a loud voice she exclaimed: “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the child you will bear! ⁴³But why am I so favored, that the mother of my Lord should come to me? ⁴⁴ As soon as the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy. ⁴⁵Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her!”


Elizabeth could have been completely envious of Mary's blessing, but she responded in a way of trusting who she is and the plan God has for her. Any one of us would have had a hardened heart toward Mary, but Elizabeth welcomed her and blessed her, praising the Lord. 


I've got to see that every day.
I've got to hold tight to the fact that when I envy things or am displeased with my current situation
I am not trusting the Lord to play out his plan for who I am supposed to be.
I have to embrace God's design of me
and ask the Lord to unveil his purpose for me,
my favor in his eyes,
and my incomparable meaning.

This year brings change.
Change of heart and a way of thinking.

This year I am going to go after what I want in life,

spend time doing things that bring me true joy

and be with people I dearly love.

It's going to be the best year.
I can already tell.