Old-Fashioned in 2012

This is a post on dating.

I'm not big on writing about it, but it's been a forefront thought in my mind recently, 

and I feel like I need to divulge some thought out on it and see if I get any insight.

I've been dating recently, 

and it, for once, is nice.

I've figured out exactly what I want and I can say that although its not easy, 

knowing what you want makes it a lot easier. 

But, 

when you're seeing someone and sharing things with your friends, 

you may get to a point where I am...

...old-fashioned in the 21st century, new age of dating.

So please, grab some coffee,

sit back and read through these thoughts and let me know what you think.

Some of these might seem like rants, so beware.

1. Call more and text less.

You will follow each of these with, "call me old-fashioned, but..," and that's okay, but I think that we've got to get back to the foundations of communications. Don't get me wrong, I love a good morning text, and quick "where are you," or a "miss you," but in order to really get to know someone you've got to talk to them. Texting is fun, and convenient but at some point talking has to come into play to see if a slight attraction or interest can grow into a relationship. I once talked to a guy who lived a city away and texting saved our relationship, but when it came to real talk, phone calls (although sometime inconvenient) gave us realness to knowing one another.

2. Being passive.

I can remember having older people tell me that a guy should always be the first to call, text, or ask to see you. As this world has changed, most people, especially men, seem to think that it's fine if a woman asks to go out, plan a date, etc. I think when you're starting out getting to know one another a guy should make most of the effort to talk and go out. Even things like the first date and first kiss, I think, should be his choice. Maybe that's the hopeless romantic who wants a gentlemen in me.  However, we can't consume ourselves in what the other person thinks or wants. We need to voice our thoughts and feelings and  I don't think it's wrong for a woman to speak her mind about what she wants, especially once you get to know each other well enough. 

3. Date outside your "type."

This one is big for me. For the longest time, I had this list of my type. Certain characteristics that if the man didn't meet them, then our relationship would never work. How vain and hopeless is that! For one, no man will meet every single characteristic of any list. Second, I don't want to judge a man on whether he has blonde or brown hair, or if he drives a car or truck. After dating a few of my same type, I opened up to someone I normally would have never considered seeing. Not only did he blow my list out of the water, but he made me see other things that were of more importance when dating someone. You have to be open to really figure out what you're looking for. And from experience, it's worth doing.

4. Being impressed.

I can remember feeling like meeting the parents, getting flowers or things like that were such a big deal. They are, but we have to remember that it's easy to do nice things for someone you like. As a true southern girl, I love when a man opens the door or pays for my dinner, but where we really need to be impressed is finding someone who actually likes us and not being so terribly impressed by the fact that it's possible.

5. Being yourself.

I was once dating a guy who loved a certain sports team. We went to the games and enjoyed doing that together. One time I was shopping and saw a shirt of the team, and bought it for him, thinking he would like it. As I gave it to him, he really didn't appreciate it. A friend told me to hold back a little and not be so forward. But as I thought about it, if I did that I would be changing myself. I am thoughtful and I love to buy things for other people. So, I tell this story to say that we need to be ourselves. If you change yourself then who are they really starting to like or spending time with? If a man doesn't like the fact that I enjoy buying things for him, or other people, then I might as well just change who I'm dating than changing who I am. Find someone who appreciates you for you.