Estoy agradecido.

When I was a child I always looked forward to the holidays. Lots of family piled up in one small house. With my Dad being one of eight and my mom one of five I got used to crowds early in life. I grew to love the noise and the massive amount of people always around. As I have gotten older and as family has changed and gone on to be with my Father, life have changed. I am overwhelmed with missing my grandparents. I long for change in my family. I feel like the odd-one-out and helpless. I look forward to seeing them all but have little expectations for what may come.

As Thanksgiving came, we had an agenda to visit all family in one day-yes, one day. Needless to say I was not looking forward to it. With lots of negativity towards my family I sucked it up and went with the flow. The day started off with this:

Backseat with the brothers. I got in with this negative attitude...then I was COMPLETELY overwhelmed with this feeling that's hard to even explain with words...plain and simple I felt the Holy Spirit surround me and just take hold of my every move.

I needed the day start off with something positive. I needed to be by the two people I love more than life itself...God knew that, but reminded me that no matter how bad, stressful, frustrating, sad, or crazy my life may be HE is ALL I NEED. He can get me through each day-He DOES get me through each day. Thank you, Father, for your continual guidance and presence!

The day continued and although loving my family isn't the easiest thing to do, I was able to do it with help from Him.

It may sound crazy to you but I am so different from my family so time with them can be a struggle. I struggle being myself and being a light of Christ to them. I pray that God helps me show them the hope He has given me...

...but nonetheless, estoy agradecido. I am thankful. I am thankful for Christ. I am thankful He sacrificed himself and spared me. I am thankful for God's Word and His sovereign will. I am thankful for family and friends. I am thankful for those around me who encourage, love and support me. God has blessed me so and I thank Him.

Father, thank you for my life. I thank you for the abundant life you've graciously given to your daughter. I pray I can give your holy name glory and I pray that I continue to seek you in all I do, say and think. I love you so much.