Trust brings joy

I am almost a week out from my last post and almost three posts behind. That gives you a little taste into what this past week has been like for me. Without getting into too much detail or too many tangents I am gong to try and share that...so bear with me.

For the last couple of months I have felt some tension with where I am at with my job. For many reasons, both mine and God's, I felt like it was time for me to leave or that the possibility of my resigning was coming closer and maybe a reality. For weeks I've prayed my heart out, asking for guidance, wisdom and discernment of what to do and when to do it.

After about a month of praying and still feeling this tension, I knew that God would tell me if I really needed to make a change and I let this all go with the trust and faith that if he wanted something to change he would tell me. Well, as God usually does with me, I was hit like a train with the realization that now was the time. When I first realized what he was saying I was flooded with emotion. I was sad. It was sad that this time in my life was coming to an end, but almost in the same moment he spoke to me and in his dear and tender character, told me that there was no need to be sad. He said that anything worth saving from this experience would be saved and he filled me with joy and excitement for what's to come.

Since that moment, I have been the happiest I've ever been. The days following that realization haven't been easy, but they've been what God willed. I couldn't have gotten through them without him, but that comes with anything worth doing. He's given me so much wisdom, excitement and encouragement and I have never felt stronger. I know he has an amazing plan for me. Sometimes it's hard because I don't know what is going to happen or when it will happen, but I know that it's all working for a purpose that he designed specifically for me. I am chosen; I should be joyous in the fact that he is using me for something that is going to make an impact. And I am.

With all that said, I am in a good place. Some people look at me and would never wish for this life. But I tell you, my friend, this is the life to have. I am not working at a job that I loved very much, but I am working for the Lord and according to his will. I am leading a simple, meek life that good is using and is going to use to do big things, some of which I'll never know or see. But this really, is the life. I'm not longer 'intern abbey,' but God has bigger and better things for this girl.