Life Update

I have just put my journal down from spending two hours writing in it. I don't usually write every day, but since this past weekend, that's happened almost every single evening. I am always writing thoughts, ideas, prayers and dear memories. Writing for me is like a drug: when I write it down, I get a release that almost helps me let go of it. This past weekend, however, has caused me to write constantly.

Thursday morning began the weekend of my best friend's wedding. Jason and Amber were engaged in February, and ever since that weekend I've been in rush/plan/bridesmaid mode. I've never been involved in a more beautiful, more meaningful weekend. We've been planning for what seems like forever, and it felt so good to see the weekend arrive. Thursday evening was the rehearsal and it was surreal to see us practicing the actual ceremony. Friday night came the rehearsal dinner, and after a lovely meal and slideshow, I (surprise to myself) got up and said a few words about my love for the bride and adoration of the groom. I love Amber, but I've been so happy that she and Jason found one another. She is my best friend, and when I say best friend, I mean I have broken the law for this girl. That's another story in itself, but she and I have been through things that would blow your mind. We met at the perfect time and God knew we really needed each other's friendship. She has always been there for me, and I pray she knows how much she really means to me. Saturday came and the wedding was the most intimate, beautiful ceremony. I really am so happy they're married. I've always wanted her to have a man who truly loves and adores her, and thank you, Lord, for sending Jason her way. They are wonderful together, and I know they will have a truly blessed life together.

Being the only single friend of Amber's brings a lot of comments to stir. Her family, our friends...everyone is curious as to who I'm dating and who I'm interested in, and more so who I'll marry. I'd be lying if I said that I didn't think about it or if I am interested in someone. However, it's not my choice as to who or when they come into my life. It's the Lord's. As much as I want that someone, the Lord is showing me some reason as to why it hasn't happened yet. He's working on my heart. He is teaching me to trust him. He knows I want this man, but he also knows when is right. I have to trust the Lord to bring him at the right moment. He's telling me that the time will come...I just have to watch, pray and wait. Even more than that, he is still working on helping me let go of worldly ideas that I worry about. I worry that no one will be with me because I'm not in a huge career path, haven't finished my degree, and am not on the "white picket fence" journey. I've got to let go of all those worries, give them to the Lord, and remember I am accepted not because of what I've done, am doing, or have done, but I'm accepted because of what Jesus did. He's putting everything in perspective, slowly but surely, and I know I'm getting to where I need to be.

So for now, I'm watching, praying and waiting.