12.2010

Just another month?

It is a little difficult for me to look back on December. So much was backed into what seemed like a long month. Lots to celebrate and lots to be thankful for.

The month began with spending time with old friends.

One thing I have always adored about this time of year is having old friends come back home. I have grown up in Murfreesboro and never lived outside of the city. It's home and has changed for me as I have grown up, but there's something about this place I just adore so I have never left. Having friends who have been in my life for years come back here just makes me remember how dear they really are to me and I feel like a kid again.

For some reason playing with sparklers while it's freezing outside seemed like a good idea. We had fun and I had fun until I could no longer feel my fingers. It took a few tries, but we accomplished the picture we wanted.

The month continued with lots of get-togethers. I am very thankful to work for my church and with people whom I absolutely adore. The picture at the top is of myself and my dear friend, Jennie. I have had the privilege of working with her for over a year now and was not leaving the staff party without a picture. The hawaiian theme made for a newly framed photo.

The children's choir also put on a show and I was so excited to have some of my small group in it and blessed to be a part of it. They all were so wonderful and I was so happy to see them glorify our Lord.

The month continued with celebrations of the holiday season and new additions with crazy people I like to call friends...

A tacky sweater party and braving the snow to celebrate a dear friend expecting a sweet baby boy in the near future were definite highlights...

But the month went on with celebrating Christmas with my family.

I still miss the Christmas of my childhood, but I am thankful that I have grown to love this time of year for other reasons. There is no greater gift than what God gave when He sent His Son. I look at that gift as a personal one, because He did give it to me. I am thankful for this month and what this year held and taught me. 2011 is a year I am eager to see!

Waiting.

Let all that I am wait quietly before God,

for my hope is in him.

He alone is my rock and my salvation,

my fortress where I will not be shaken.

My victory and honor come from God alone.

He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me.

O my people, trust in him at all times.

Pour out your heart to him,

for God is our refuge.

-Psalm 62:5-8

Most of my inner thoughts are about waiting. They usually include anger and selfishness. The lines of reality sometimes get blurry and covered over, and soon fall prey to voicing my thoughts to God. "God, I need ___, or I am entitled to ____ and shouldn't have to wait.

When I look deeper I see how much of myself actually prefers the illusion. I'd rather have security, comfort and around-the-clock satisfaction in what my heart desires rather than this vacancy. I want love. I want comfort, satisfaction, and pleasure. I want to have every worry lifted and be joyful in everything that deserves no current joy.

Bottom line, waiting is hard. Maintaing hope is waiting is even harder, no matter how strong I am in my beliefs.

Waiting is one thing; waiting well is another.

A lot of waiting seems to be about trust and trust to be of waiting and waiting to be about faith.

It's easy to praise God when waiting brings results, but when you're given the answer 'wait' or any type of suffering, you start to question God's plan and timing. Someone's life will look a lot better in comparison, and the grace in mine a lot smaller. We tend to come to a point where we don't get what we want, complain to God, and take matters into our own hands. For many of us, it is easier to be God than trust or love him.

But...What if God knew exactly what He was doing? What if He didn't need our agendas, or short-lived desires, to make His happen? What if love truly never failed and was most important, and followed after...'quick to forgive and quicker to show mercy?" What if, in the midst of our suffering, God knew what was best? What if He was closely at work, even, and especially, in our place of silent waiting?

Estoy agradecido.

When I was a child I always looked forward to the holidays. Lots of family piled up in one small house. With my Dad being one of eight and my mom one of five I got used to crowds early in life. I grew to love the noise and the massive amount of people always around. As I have gotten older and as family has changed and gone on to be with my Father, life have changed. I am overwhelmed with missing my grandparents. I long for change in my family. I feel like the odd-one-out and helpless. I look forward to seeing them all but have little expectations for what may come.

As Thanksgiving came, we had an agenda to visit all family in one day-yes, one day. Needless to say I was not looking forward to it. With lots of negativity towards my family I sucked it up and went with the flow. The day started off with this:

Backseat with the brothers. I got in with this negative attitude...then I was COMPLETELY overwhelmed with this feeling that's hard to even explain with words...plain and simple I felt the Holy Spirit surround me and just take hold of my every move.

I needed the day start off with something positive. I needed to be by the two people I love more than life itself...God knew that, but reminded me that no matter how bad, stressful, frustrating, sad, or crazy my life may be HE is ALL I NEED. He can get me through each day-He DOES get me through each day. Thank you, Father, for your continual guidance and presence!

The day continued and although loving my family isn't the easiest thing to do, I was able to do it with help from Him.

It may sound crazy to you but I am so different from my family so time with them can be a struggle. I struggle being myself and being a light of Christ to them. I pray that God helps me show them the hope He has given me...

...but nonetheless, estoy agradecido. I am thankful. I am thankful for Christ. I am thankful He sacrificed himself and spared me. I am thankful for God's Word and His sovereign will. I am thankful for family and friends. I am thankful for those around me who encourage, love and support me. God has blessed me so and I thank Him.

Father, thank you for my life. I thank you for the abundant life you've graciously given to your daughter. I pray I can give your holy name glory and I pray that I continue to seek you in all I do, say and think. I love you so much.

baby Brylee.

Some dear friends recently welcomed an adorable daughter into the world. Meet Ms. Brylee!

She is the sweetest, smallest bundle of joy and was such a great baby to work with. It's been such a long time since I have had a shoot but it was great to get the chance to capture some newborn pictures for her Mom & Dad.

"Every good and perfect gift is from above..."

-James 1:17

15 days in...

November sure started out with a rocky start. My dad losing his job sure wasn't how I pictured it but it happened and we dealt with it as best we could. As soon as it happened I clung to the Lord.

I prayed my heart out for God to receive the glory and for God to give my father hope because I could tell he had none. I also prayed that God would show him the love He has for him and that he would turn to something you can put your hope in and not be disappointed.

After three long, stressful days we got news that he got a job! I was amazed and immediately gave God the glory He so deserves. The words "praise the Lord..." just flowed from my mouth, over and over. My God did this and my God is bigger than pain, than hurt, than job loss, than ANYTHING.

Looking back at this situation and past week makes me smile. Something horrible happened and I instantly turned to my Father for hope and peace. I prayed through every frustration, thought and worry. I held on to him...and He provided!

Words cannot explain how great our God is or how much I love Him! Thank you, Lord, for your love, mercy and amazing grace. Thank you for providing for my father, my family and myself. Thank you for being my hope, my rock and my strength. Thank you for being the one thing in life than never disappoints and never lets go.

ALL THE GLORY TO GOD. Amen.

stress of this life.

The last time I posted I was so happy and full of joy. Looking back at a wonderful month and seeing how God is working in my life and I see it so clearly like a reflection in the mirror. It is something I am very thankful for.

With a swift goodbye to October, I was anxious to see what November had in store. My high expectations were soon smacked to the ground with heart breaking news. Three days ago my Dad lost his job. I know, most people think:

"It's okay, he'll get another one."

"God will provide."

"God has something better-don't worry."

All of that is true, but what hit me so hard is seeing a strong man, who has gratefully been in my life since I was born, be broken down and hurt. My father is a wonderful man. He has a heart for his family. He does anything and everything for us. Although he may struggle and sacrifice he does it for us. My brothers and I are blessed to have a father who would do anything in his power to give us a wonderful life.

But what takes me back a step is that he hurts. If you know me well, you know I have a heart for people in my life. I cannot bear to see or hear of loved ones in pain. I would do anything for my Dad. God is showing me a lot in life but this is all so new and different. Not being able to literally do anything for him is hard. But as I have been dealing and processing this, all I have heard is this:

Trust.

Patience.

Faith.

God has been teaching me that I walk but it is He who guides my steps. I must have trust, patience and faith in EVERY aspect of my life and He is showing me that very clearly through this situation and others. It took this situation for the point to really hit home but it's not that easy.

I share this because I need prayer. I share this because my Dad needs prayer. He is a strong and very selfless man but does not have a relationship with Christ. I pray for it constantly and I hope God uses this situation to bring him closer to my heavenly Father. My family also needs prayer. With job loss comes worry, frustration and stress. Not too much in my family life is easy, but this is a whole new ball game.

But, what I do know is what's getting me through this:

God is faithful and God is love. God is my strength and is always there.

So I am trusting in Him and trying not to worry...my God has a plan.

"Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow has worry of its own. Todays worry is enough for today."

-Matthew 6:34

10.2010

Octubre.

What a month...

It is definitely one for the record books. So much joy and happiness packed into 31 days. When you look at it like that it seems so short, but this month seemed to last forever. I cherish time like that as I get older. Time seems to pass us by without even noticing. I am trying to hold on to what really matters in life. You could say that was the theme of October.

With only a two week notice, I was off to the Dominican Republic once again. My heart was overwhelmed with excitement and anxiousness. With all that I brought home from my first trip, I could not believe I was going back and was curious to see what God has planned. I wrote of my feelings before I embarked on my second trip.."...one spot left." I couldn't believe it and still can't when I look back. I can only give my God the glory and marvel at his wonderful ways.

Needless to say, I was in my element. Being there is the only time and place I have ever experienced true happiness and joy in life. God has taught me so much through what I have learned there. I love and have loved people I barely knew who spoke a language different from my own. I worked harder physical labor than I ever thought I would. I have relationships I will cherish forever. God is still showing me a lot when it comes to La Represa. That community is still heavy on my heart. His plans are nothing short of amazing and exciting.

Once home from La Represa, life once again changed drastically. Being content in this world was and is a struggle but I hold on to the promises of my Savior and live life day by day. I spent a lot of time just enjoying life with dear friends who are closer than my own family.

The month continued with celebrations of this wonderful season (my favorite) and welcoming change as God is working in our church and community.

Our Smyrna church campus has recently moved to the new Boys & Girls Club facility. It's an amazingly beautiful place with so much more room to outreach and minister to the community. We had a fall festival to celebrate the opening and it was a huge success! Music, food and lots of people I love.

Another community in Murfreesboro that my church is working in is called Franklin Heights. I have been working alongside the director and have seen how I don't have to travel far to love the unloved.

The first annual fall festival was put on for the community and it was an awesome time to see families and followers of Christ come together to share love and laughter.

As the month came to an end and November came faster than I wanted, only one thought

came to mind: thankful.

I am thankful for my Savior. I am thankful He can get me through every day, every mess up and every blessing in my life. I am thankful for what He has given me and the amazing journey He has put me on. I am thankful for the opportunity to serve Him on a daily basis. I am thankful for what He has done in my brother's life and cherish him dearly. God has grown him and is growing him to be a man of God that excites me. We spend most of our time serving together and what a precious sight it is.

Goodbye October and hello November.