God speaks.

Lately, life has been so busy that I find myself turning to the Word for strength and not getting what I needed, expected or wanted. What I didn't realize until now is that I can't just turn to it and expect to get something to help me just a rushed and delayed attitude. I must turn to it humbled and gracious and thankful that He gave it to me and speaks to me through it.

It's been a while since I have gotten to dig into studying His Word, but recently it happened without planning it. I went to a dear friend's house to have coffee and just catch up. I love her because we get along so well, and she also shares a passion for art and painting. We were in her art room, which I am slightly jealous of, and I asked if there was anything I could help her get finished or work on.

She handed me this:

A ruler, pencil, Bible and a 12x12 piece of paper.

She told me about how someone wanted Psalm 25 written on this paper, then mod-podged to a canvas as a gift. I thought it would be pretty cool so I got to work. If you know me well then you know I am quite o.c.d. about things so it took me a while to make sure it would all fit on the page. I wrote the first half in pencil and began going over it in sharpie.

As I began to write and read the lines of Psalm 25, I felt this huge and overwhelming flow of God's presence. It's like He was sitting right there next to me saying, "Read, dear child. This is here to help you."

Psalm 25 was an answer to a huge struggle that I have been dealing with for a few weeks. It's as if it was sent from God straight to me. As I wrote, I clung to every word...every line...holding back tears of comfort and awe.

 I read over and over and finally got to the very last line. I sat back, took a deep breath, and looked over a psalm that came straight to the Father to me. Thank you, Father. I pray I continue to have a yearning for your Word...and let it happen in little, unseen moments as this.

"Show me the right path, O Lord.

Point out the road for me to follow.

Lead me by your truth and teach me,

for you are the God who saves me.

All day long I put my hope in You."

-Psalm 25:1-5

Growing up too fast.

I was cruising around Facebook earlier this morning and saw a post a friend put up about a popular clothing brand. As a mother, she was outraged at what the brand was not only selling, but marketing to young children. I clicked the post and then found the link to the news article giving more information. Click here to read for yourself, but as I read my anger, frustration and sadness rose to a high point. The brand was selling swimsuits for young girls with padding in the tops that "enhanced chest cleavage" and "pushed skin outward" from the top.

In our world, so many things are marketed for all ages that are inappropriate. Women of all ages are showing too much skin, whether it be in swim wear or every day clothing. It bothers me to no end to see a popular and successful clothing brand sell swimsuits to girls that not only are immodest but are completely inappropriate. Young girls should not be showing off their chest, legs or midriff. Girls, whether 7 or 12, are growing into who they are and already subject to insecurities. Instead of helping them be secure in who they are and who they are meant to be, we base everything on how much skin is shown and what looks pleasing to the opposite sex. At 6 and 7, they are being sexed up to portray something no one, no woman, was ever meant to be.

This absolutely breaks my heart and is something I am very passionate about. Mothers, please be aware of what your daughters are. They are a blessing and precious. Please protect them and their innocence. Help them grow into women of beauty and integrity without the dirt of the world. Fathers, protect your little girls. Show them the love and acceptance most of them long for. Father, I pray you help this world to stop turning little girls into grown women so fast. They need You, Father. We all need You. Help us all understand that love, acceptance and beauty comes only from You.

Please, let little girls be little girls. They grow up fast enough.

Happenings.

Forgive me for the lost days of blog posts and post-poned ideas.
It makes me crazy but I'm sure I can live without a post about last month, considering this month is almost over. February was full of family, friends and celebration. I didn't think March could be much better, especially with some bad news, but it certainly lived up to expectation.

This month is almost gone and that is stunning to me. This has been the busiest month of my entire life. Work has kept my life on auto-pilot but I have never enjoyed anything more.

Last week we had our spring break camp for third through fifth graders: Camp Hillmont. It was one of the best weeks last year and I was really looking forward to it. I enjoyed serving, but now that I am working on the children's ministry team it opened a whole new world of love for my job and ministry that I could have never imagined.

 It was a great week. I fell into a deeper love with my job, the children and families I serve and my amazing Father. 

Here are a few of my favorite pictures.

The night before we left for camp I was completely overjoyed...My little brother, Matt, was baptized at the point.

Words cannot express my feelings, emotions or heart. I was trying to video his baptism while a dear friend took pictures and could barely hold the camera steady for the tears running down my face. This is a lot of things, but most of all it's a pray answered. I can't tell you how often I have prayed and how others have prayed for Matt. It's amazing to see how God is working in his life and I couldn't be more thankful and blessed. Now we are not two, but three siblings running after Christ. I wouldn't have it any other way. 

Senior skip day.

Friday was not only my day off but my little brother's senior skip day. I was so happy to see a day off come and I was surprised but happy he asked to spend it with me. So we headed off to do one of my favorite things and a new hobby of his: frisbee golf.

 It was such a beautiful day to spend outdoors and with him. I was having the worst game ever...

 And he was looking cool wearing in his new discs...

He had to get proof that I actually played and wasn't completely obsessed with taking pictures...

But overall it was an awesome senior skip day. We left the park and got a pizza and headed home to crash for the afternoon.

I am so thankful for that day we spent together. Barton and I spent a lot of time together but I am happy he actually wants to spend time with me. I know I play the "mother" role to him often and I am his closest godly example, but beyond that I am his sister and his friend. I love him more than he will ever know and it's awesome to be able to sit back and look at him becoming a man after God's heart.

"Let brotherly love continue."

-Hebrews 13:1

A lovely day off...

Consists of:

Going through my small groups prayer requests.

Finishing to-do lists...

Wanting to buy these rain boots for myself or my future daughter.

Finding a book I could start and finish in one day.

Finding a journal that describes me perfectly.

Enjoying some of this with my best friend.

Snip, snip.

I know, it's just a haircut. But to me it matters. One, because I've had way too many past experiences with haircuts that have gone terribly wrong, and two, because change can be a good thing!

A day He made.

Lately I have been in this state where I have been waiting patiently for God to work in a few different situations. I have prayed more than I ever thought possible and I have sat by and watched the days, weeks and months go by hoping to see something arise. I have made my desires known to God and even though almost everything happened that would to tell me to give up, I am still holding on. I have been hoping, praying and trusting in Him and His timing...with nothing in return. I have had to turn away from being so selfish with what I "want" and what God "should give me," and He has shown me the light at the end of the tunnel. Some days are better than others when it comes to this season of waiting and not a day goes by where I am not reminded of waiting and being ever so patient.

I woke up this morning, got ready and left for work. I got in the car, threw my stuff in and started driving like I do every day. The sun is shining beautifully today and as I started driving down the road I looked at the sun, nature and God's hands and this glorious day. I was immediately flooded with excitement...He softly spoke in my ear and told me that no matter what season I am in, whether I am waiting or not, that there is a reason to be happy and be excited for what's to come; because what is to come has His name all over it and is truly what is best. It is exactly what I needed to hear today, but He knew that already.

But even though I am in a season of change God has got me right where I need to be. And I stay close to the fact that everything happens for a reason. Every person, situation, day, word, etc. has a chance to give His name glory. Just holding on Him and knowing He knows best.

On another note, I am cutting all this off today:

Okay, not all of it but hopefully most. I have had too many bad haircuts in my almost 24 years and it's hard to trust people with cutting it...but as of today, I am trusting in a friend to work some magic. We'll see what happens, but until then I will leave you with this:

"For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord.

 Plans for good and not evil, for hope and a future."

-Jeremiah 29:11

Passion: Here for You

Since I can remember music has been like writing for me: an outlet. Music is that for most people, but for me it helps when I am happy, sad, excited, hurt, etc. Once I write I turn on something to help whatever mood I may be in and just relax from there. Writing is to cake as music is to icing....get it?

Well, it's rare for me to really talk or write about music, but today I got this album and I HAVE to share it with you:

Passion: Here for You. It is a worship album from the conference I attended back in January and it's absolutely amazing. What's awesome about the Passion music is that it's written and recorded weeks before the actual conference, then released at a later date. Each conference has it's own individual worship and the Passion albums never disappoint. If you want some awesome music that gives all the glory to our God you should definitely give it a try. I've been listening to it all day!

Waiting [3].

A friend of mine, Laura Rowe, writes a blog that is nothing short of amazing. She writes of her family, life, wonderful recipes and the most adorable do-it-yourself projects. I was going through blogs this morning after getting a load of work finished and hers spoke to my heart and the season of life I am currently in. I had to share because as she said, we are all waiting...

"Perseverance is more than endurance. It is endurance combined with absolute assurance and certainty that what we are looking for is going to happen. Perseverance means more than just hanging on, which may be only exposing our fear of letting go and falling. Perseverance is our supreme effort of refusing to believe that our hero is going to be conquered. Our greatest fear is not that we will be damned, but that somehow Jesus Christ will be defeated. Also, our fear is that the very things our Lord stood for-- love, justice, forgiveness, and kindness among men-- will not win out in the end and will represent an unattainable goal for us. Then there is the call to spiritual perseverance. A call not to hang on and do nothing, but to work deliberately, knowing with certainty that God will never be defeated.

If our hopes seem to be experiencing disappointment right now, it simply means that they are being purified. Every hope or dream of the human mind will be fulfilled if it is noble and of God. But one of the greatest stresses in life is the stress of WAITING for God. He brings fulfillment, "because you have kept My command to persevere..." (Rev. 3:10). 

Continue to persevere spiritually." 

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, February 22nd

Waiting [2].

"Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken."

 -Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Memories.

Today I was at work and got a hectic phone call from my aunt. "Help...help...help!" I replied, "what is the matter?", thinking something was actually wrong. "I just got my iPhone and I need help working this thing." With a sigh of relief I laughed and told her I'd be over after work to help.

Soon after that phone call I got to her house to be greeted by my cousins, Garret and Grace. They were playing and watching television, but put them on hold to hug and kiss "Abb." I then spent the next hour and a half or so setting up my aunt's phone. Who would have thought I'd be doing that?!

Once her Gmail was working and all iCal calendars were synced, we settled down to have dinner. I sat and talked with my uncle and cousins, and helped Garrett with some homework. I said good night to Grace and helped her get her pajamas on and cuddled into a perfectly pink room. I went to say good night to Jackson and instead I got a quick hug and kiss and was hurried into iPhone, iPod, Apple conversation and what I thought about him saving to get a new one. Once we discussed his awesome plan I went to say good night to Garrett. He asked about an app on my phone and we began testing it. I turned around, looking for something unique for him to photograph, and found this:

Meet Sergio. He has been in my family since before I came into the world. He belonged to my grandparents and was given to Garrett once they passed away. He sat in the corner and took up the entire rocking chair. I saw him and was instantly flooded with memory...Memory of being a small child and cuddling up to Sergio. I was reminded of his soft arms and how they used to wrap all they way around me. I remembered feeling so small when I saw him, but after twenty three years, that feeling is no longer tangible.

In that moment I was thankful. I was thankful for wonderful memories of my childhood and my grandparents. I was thankful for remembering what it feels like to be a kid. I was thankful that Sergio is still the comfort and joy of the five year old me.

Garrett and I sat down on his bed as he flipped through edits on Sergio. It's moments like that I pray he'll remember and that I will never forget.